


Syndicate

by celmatesakiller



Category: Supernatural, destiel - Fandom
Genre: Crime, Dean Plays Guitar, Depression, Destiel - Freeform, F/M, Family Issues, Flashbacks, Gay, Homophobia, Hurt Castiel, Hurt Dean, M/M, Mental Breakdown, Mental Instability, Music, Protective Dean Winchester, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Spies & Secret Agents, castiel has a secret job, drug lord, internalised hate
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-14
Updated: 2018-07-13
Packaged: 2019-04-22 17:37:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 15,489
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14313762
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/celmatesakiller/pseuds/celmatesakiller
Summary: How could I have known that a simple trip to the bank could lead to so much heartache? That rekindling old friendships could be so difficult? That falling in Love all over again was the worst mistake I could have made? That it all lead to him?[On Hiatus]





	1. Lazarus Rising

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Based on the prompt:
> 
> During a bank robbery, you’re surprised when the criminals seem to recognise you and retreat in fear. Only later do you learn that your high school sweet-heart now runs a global crime syndicate and has you placed on a “No Harm” list. You decide to pay them a visit after all these years.

 

 _“Cassie!”_ the cheery voice cheered through the phone receiver as I turned loud speaker on and placed the phone safely on my knee, moving to rest my hand back on the steering wheel.

“Hello, Gabe. What’s up?” I questioned, smiling. Gabriel Novak was a character and could have anyone smiling on their darkest days.

 _“Oh, nothing. Just calling to check up on my baby bro who I miss so dearly.”_ He sighed, acting in a dreamy state to which I rolled my eyes, pulling the car into a parking space and putting the hand brake on.

“Oh I’m sure that’s all you’re calling for.” I chuckled, lifting the phone off my knee.

 _“Ok, you caught me. I wanted to see what you were up to and if you wanted to hang out today? We haven’t gotten together in a while.”_ He sighed. I loved Gabriel, I really did. He was the only one in my family to really care about me and keep in contact after I left. He even made an effort to move closer to me, also happy for an excuse to move away from home.

“Well,” I started. “I’m actually at the bank at the moment. Cashing in my latest payment. It shouldn’t take long though if you wanna meet somewhere?” I questioned, turning the car off after finally gathering my bag and folder, before stepping out and locking the car.

 _“Sure! How about that little diner? The one we first visited together when we got here? In an hour?”_ he questioned. I could already hear the ruffling in the background, knowing he was already getting ready, just like usual. I smiled before responding.

“Sounds good. See you then.” He responded with a _‘later’_ before the line went dead. Chuckling once more and placing my phone in my pocket, I pushed open the doors to the bank and walked up to the counter. Thankfully, there were only a few other people around so I was able to easily walk up and talk to my normal accountant.

“Castiel! How are you today?” she greeted, cheery as usual.

“Hey Dorothy. I am doing well today. How’s yourself?” I questioned, stopping at the desk and placing my folder on top.

“Not too bad at all. What can I do for you today good sir?” She questioned, looking down to my folder.

“Well, I have another payment to cash in today,” I started, opening the folder and slipping out a small plastic leaf with some pages inside, before slipping out an invoice page and a small paper slip. “Just another quick run today then I’ll be out of your hair.” I smiled, handing the pieces of paper over to her. She took them with a smile, before reading over them, looking between her computer and the page before typing a few things in. Just as she opened the register, a small thud could be heard. I just thought it was the register and thought nothing more as she counted out the notes. She closed the register and smiled, placing the money in an envelope before reaching over to hand it to me when a gun shot rang out, and screams filled the air. My eyes widened and I turned around and looked towards the doors where five masked people stood, holding guns and shouting. A robbery.

“Everyone down! Get on the floor now!” the one in the middle shouted, shooting a bullet to the floor, causing more panicked screams. I looked towards Dorothy who had the same terrified look that I felt I held before dropping to the floor with a dull thud, making sure I was backed right up to the desk with my hands up, just as the people across the room from me were doing. As I sat myself further into the shadows of the wall, the other four people ran to each end of the bank. One ran opposite me, one ran to the middle, another jumping the counter to get behind all the workers, assuming to make them stuff cash into bags faster, and the last one ran directly towards me. I looked around frantically, trying to find my best means of escape, and when it was obvious there was no way to escape, I gulped and gave in to the inevitable stealing of cash, maybe even death. But as I opened my eyes again after hearing the commotion halt, I looked up into the masked eyes of a very tall man, with bright greenish-hazel eyes, and in that moment, I could see a wave of fear and recognition. His lips parted slightly, with a very quick movement, he gulped and stood, signalling to the other four men before quickly rushing to the doors of the building, taking whatever they already had. When the tall man reached the others, however, he was gesturing wildly and was harshly telling the others something, before pointing to me. I sat, completely in fear, just staring and wondering what it was that was happening. The tall man once again looked at me as the others fled, looked me dead in the eyes before holding up a small white card, before throwing it towards my direction and fleeing with the other men. It took a few moments before people started standing, dusting themselves off and helping others up and gathering their things. I slowly stood, shaking myself out of the shock I was in before the card he threw came back to my mind. With hesitation, I turned and looked at the floor, seeing a little white card just laying between me and the door.

“You going to pick it up?” I heard a voice say behind me, making me jump slightly and spin around, finding the innocent and startled face of Dorothy. “I watched what happened.” She explained, leaving me to nod and once more turn around and stalk towards the card. Crouching down, my tan trench coat pooling on the floor around me, I picked up the card and flipped it over, simply finding a name and a number, printed in bold black letters.

_S.W – (323) 790-4967_

I stared at it, reading it over and over to the point it was probably engraved into my mind, when a hand rested on my shoulder, and a folder was held in my view. I looked up to once again find Dorothy. I knew by the look she gave me that my envelope was inside. I nodded and smiled at her before carefully taking the folder and retrieving my bag, before walking out and back to my car before any police could arrive. I did not feel in the mood for talking to them right now.

I sighed, pulling out my phone and seeing a text from ten minutes ago, labelling Gabe.

_Dude you better not be standing me up. I’ll wait for years if I must_

I sighed, having completely forgotten about meeting with him. I quickly typed a message back telling him I was on my way and I’d explain once I got there, before putting my car into drive and driving away, heading towards the diner we were to meet at. Entering the diner just felt weird to me. The card in my pocket felt like a weight trying to pull me under the water. I registered it as still being in shock, but I was also confused. What was it all about? Why was I the reason they left? Why did I need this card? What did it all mean? I was pulled from my thoughts by a shout calling me to the back corner furthest from the door. Thankful for Gabe knowing my comfort zone in places like this, I walked over with a smile and sat down. My smile didn’t last long, leaving me with my head resting in my hands and heaving a sigh.

“Ok what happened spill.” He spoke, leaning across the table as I lifted my head slightly. I wiped my hands down my face and leaning them rest against my mouth, before dropping them and clasping them together.

“The bank had a robbery as I was there,” I spoke. Hearing myself say the words felt so weird. Made it that much more real. “And they left again, but only because one guy seemed to recognise me. He threw me this before they fled.” I finished, fishing the card from my breast pocket before sliding it over to Gabe, who carefully took it and read over it, taking as long as it felt I took.

“I think I know who it could be,” he spoke, trailing off at the end. “You remember the Winchester’s?” The question surprised me, leaving me sitting there with wide eyes and staring across to Gabe before I shook my head and sighed.

“Yes of course I do.” I answered. You could never forget the likes of Sam and Dean Winchester. Most popular guys in school. Dean Winchester, older brother to Sam Winchester, mother died when he was four and Sam was six months, abusive alcoholic father, was the star football player of the school and the one every girl wanted, and every guy wanted to be. The typical high school jock, aside from being apart of the LARPing club, something only his closest friends knew. Sam, however, was the complete opposite with his chess club and drama meets, nice personality and full ride scholarships to Stanford to study Law. Their personalities were complete opposites. I only knew this stuff from not only going to school with the pair, and not only with being one of Dean’s closest friends along with his still current friend Charlie, but also from the us being high school sweethearts. Everyone at school believed we would be together forever and would marry and grow old together. Even we believed it for a while. It just seemed so. I was in love with Dean, and Dean so in love with me. So, once we left school, with me going off to Yale to study Psychology while Dean stayed in Kansas, we fell apart. Dean eventually changed his number, moved away and basically just disappeared off the face of the earth. Same to be said for Sam. The pair just fell off the grid. So, with Gabe mentioning them once again and having every good and bad memory pour back into my little soul after so many years trying to forget and move on from the heart break, you could expect a tear rolled down my cheek and landed on my hand. I quickly wiped my cheeks and took a deep breathe before looking back at Gabe. “You were saying?” I said, looking back to my older brother sitting across from me. Gabe had looked at me, sadness in his eyes a pity, which I hated. Pity was something I didn’t want. Gabe cleared his throat and looked down at the card once more.

“I think it’s Sam.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I saw this prompt on a Destiel facebook group, and even though I'm horrible at regular updates and finishing shit, I'm giving this a go. Bare with me


	2. In the Beginning

_“Cas!” a voice shouted, making me jump and look around my locker. When I saw who it was, I smiled and closed the locker before smiling and turning to face him._

_“Hey you.” I smiled, facing my boyfriend. Dean Winchester was the school jock. The star football player. While I wasn’t the sporty one, I was considered the ‘nerdy’ one. Somehow, Dean saw something in me. We were the school power couple apparently. I mean, aside from our good friend Charlie, we were the only open gay couple._

_He leaned down and pecked my lips before taking hold of my hand and beginning to walk towards the exit of the school. We met up with his brother, Sam, and all piled into Dean’s prized 1967 Chevy Impala._

_“So, Sammy, we’re gonna go do some training. You wanna be dropped off at home or the library?” Dean questioned, looking in the rear-view mirror to look at the younger Winchester, who rolled his eyes with a smirk before mumbling ‘library’._

_I groaned, knowing exactly what was to come from the training. For a couple months now, Dean has had me training and working out with him like how all the guys on the football team do. Don’t get me wrong, I love running and the healthy eating part, especially when Dean cooks, but all the extra components to the training and drills absolutely kill._

_“Hey, don’t be doing that now. I know it kills but you secretly enjoy it.” Dean smirked, looking at me out of the corner of his eye. And he was honestly right. I did love it. Not only was I the healthiest I had ever been, but I was getting confident in how my body looked with the new-found muscles and faint six-pack showing. It also helped me with getting me outside a bit more and not just always stuck in my room studying. Plus, the sessions usually ended with Dean and I laying on the grass lazily making out._

_After dropping Sam off, it was a quick drive to a local football oval. It was generally used for the football team for their training, but it was one of the teams relax days, so we were able to come out earlier than usual, which also meant it ended quicker than usual._

_Before we knew it, we were sitting leaning against the side of the Impala, a joint being lazily passed between us as we spoke. Suddenly, I was straddling Dean’s lap, staring into his emerald green eyes that shone brighter than even the sun. I started leaning down as he leaned up towards me. Our lips were about to connect, and I watched as his eyes slowly fluttered closed. The distance between us drew closer and our lips were mere inches apart-_

“CAS!” a shout sounded out, startling me awake, making me fall off the bed with a loud thud, and a groan. The sound of a door opening and closing, along with a whisper of ‘ _Cas?’_ caused me to huff a laugh before pushing myself up to stand up.

Turning around and stretching, I noticed the red face of Gabriel trying not to laugh sitting on my bed.

“Sorry lil bro,” he broke, and let a few small chuckles out, causing me to chuckle slightly before moving over to my closet to retrieve a pair of basketball shorts and a thin, light blue cotton shirt. Slipping the shorts on over my boxers and my shirt over my head, carefully as to not hurt my neck as I have been done many times in the past, I moved to my draws to retrieve a pair of socks. “What’re you getting all dressed up for?” Gabriel asked, pulling a lollipop out of god knows where, before sticking it in his mouth, even if it was only seven-thirty in the morning.

“Going for a run. You know, working out a bit. A body like this doesn’t just come to me without any work.” I smirked, pulling my running shows onto my feet before standing up to stretch my arms and legs out a bit before heading out, taking extra focus to my knees and ankles as to not hurt them.

“Uhg exercise. I know it keeps you healthy but god at what cost?” Gabriel remarked once more, standing up and walking out of the room with me.

“Yea whatever. It means I have a better body than you is all,” I smirked, gulping down a glass of water before retrieving a bottle from the fridge. “What did you need me for though? When you shouted my name and so rudely woke me up?” I questioned, leaning against a chair at the dining table.

“Oh! Right I forgot. So, I took that card you were given,” he started, making memories of yesterday and my dream flash back through my mind, mixtures of fear, love and arousal clouding my mind. “And so, I texted the number, and I can confirm it is Samsquatch, and we called for a while. I’ll wait till you’re back from your _run_ to tell you everything but in short, they remember us both and have us on a no-hit list.” He finished, throwing another candy wrapper in the bin.

It took a moment for what he said to sink in and when it did, the only thought running through my mind was _holy shit Dean remembers me._ I had another drink and shook my head, so many questions starting to surface.

“Ok, well, uh damn. Uh yea tell me the, uh, rest after I’m back I suppose.” I rambled, grabbing the water bottle and saluting Gabriel, who saluted back, before walking outside, stretching my legs once more as I stood outside the door.

I set off on a run after a couple minutes, clearing my mind and hoping to have a peaceful run this morning, but by the time I reached the park near campus, my head was just swimming with a multitude of unanswered questions. I took a gulp from the water, trying to save some for the run back, before stretching out my arms and twisting my core, preparing for the push-ups, crunches, pull-ups and burpees I’d do. It was a very tough workout I did every day, but after Dean got me into the rhythm of intense training sessions, it became a natural thing. It was almost calming and kept me occupied.

An hour and a half later, I started off on the run back home, stopping only to pet a dog tied up outside a local coffee shop, before continuing with the run.

By the time I reached my house again, I could tell Gabriel was still here and not at his own home. I stopped, leaned over to catch my breath and downed the last of my water, sending a silent prayer up to whoever was watching that Gabriel hadn’t destroyed the place while I was gone, before pushing open the door and entering, bracing for whatever prank he would have ultimately set up.

Except, opening the door, nothing happened. To say I was surprised was an understatement.

“Gabe?” I called out, waiting for something. Anything! It was unlike Gabriel to NOT prank me.

“Lil bro! You’re back!” he called out, waltzing out of the kitchen with a bowl in his hands. “How was your run?” he mumbled around a spoon full of whatever food he had gotten himself.

“Uh, yea it was, uh, good,” I trailed off, surprised when Gabriel smiled at me and sat at the table, acting all proper. “Okay who are you and what have you done with my brother?” I questioned, crossing my arms over my chest.

“What? I’m not allowed to be a good boy?” he spoke, looking up at me with fluttery eyelashes and puppy dog eyes. I raised my eyebrow and looked at him with a bored expression. “Ok, fine. I wanted to be nice to you when you got home because I wanna tell you what Sam and I spoke about in more detail and I know you would’ve been stressing about it while on your run.” He sighed, setting down his spoon.

I sighed, kicking off my shoes before sitting at the table, resting my head in my hands as questioned started flooding my thoughts once more. I didn’t ask any, because I’m sure they’d all be answered, one way or another.

“So? What happened then?” I questioned, looking up with rubbing my hands down my face, resting on my mouth for a moment before I crossed them on the table.

“Well,” he started, clearing his throat and sitting up straighter. “Sam told me what happened, with them just disappearing without any word. You remember John?” Gabe asked, looking up at me. I sighed, knowing this was gonna be a long conversation, so I stood and walked over to the coffee machine to make a cup. Or ten.

“Yea, sadly.” I mumbled, filling up the mug with coffee and some creamer, walking back to sit across from Gabriel.

“Well, he got worse. Like, _way_ fucking worse Cassie. It was, bad, to put it lightly. He beat Dean to the brink of death so many times. Sam was at Stanford and, obviously, couldn’t do much to help. His girlfriend died sadly, and their father drank himself silly, and with Sam being his little pre-law self, managed to assist in getting their father locked up. He died in prison due to the amount of alcohol he drank before they took him. So, with the death of Sam’s girl, they both just packed up and left. Didn’t say goodbye to anyone. They couldn’t, no matter how much they wanted to, and now they travel around the country running this fuckin’ crime ring. They go by the alias’ Michael Young and Luke Cage, and obviously haven’t shown their faces with those names. They run the crime ring called The Demons,” he stated, and it was a lot to take in, but I snorted at the name of their crime ring. Typical Dean. “They’re in town for a few days. Sam gave me a motel and room number to stop by. I’m going with or without you because I was their friend too, even if you were more than friends with Dean. I’m gonna text Sam and tell him we’re coming by soon.” He finished, standing from the table and putting his bowl in the sink.

It took a while for all the information to properly sink in. one main question I still had was ‘ _how the fuck did they get to where they are now?’_

I stood up, deciding the best way to get answers for my last questions would be to ask Dean himself. But was I ready to see him after all these years?

“You coming?” Gabe asked, walking down the stairs. I stared at the wall in front of me, contemplating it over and over. I turned to face Gabriel and smiled slightly.

“Yea, I guess so. I still have some questions I want answers for. Let me just get ready,” I stated, turning to the stairs and beginning to walk up them. “Oh, and Gabe?” I questioned, turning back to him.

“Yea?” He answered, concern but happiness in his features.

“Tell Sam to keep it a surprise for Dean. If he’s already told him, tell him to say I’m not coming.” I smirked, turning around and rushing upstairs before Gabe had a chance to respond, even though I knew he was smirking behind me.

After a good ten minutes of contemplating on what to wear and if I was actually doing this and actually seeing Dean again after all these years, I finally walked out and down the stairs to find Gabriel sitting on the couch on his phone, smiling down at it.

He looked up when he heard me coming and smirked and was I guess was my appearance.

“Looking sharp there bro,” He spoke with a smirk before pulling out another lollipop. “Ready to go?” I took a deep breathe to prepare myself as the question _‘was I ready?’_ swirled around my mind.

“Yea, I think so,” I sighed, shuffling nervously. I chuckled and looked down before looking at Gabriel with a hopeless expression. “You know, I thought that after all these years, I had finally gotten over him. Then his fucking brother pops up again just out of the blue and they are both here and we are actually going to see them again. I thought I had gotten over him and was content with being alone for the moment.” I chuckled, wiping my face over with my hands again. I felt a hand on my shoulder and I looked down to see Gabe looking at me with a sad smile.

“Don’t worry. Even if you think you got over him, I could tell you didn’t. there’s no getting over Dean fucking Winchester. I never got over him and I never even liked him as more than a friend!” he exclaimed, making me chuckle.

“Ok, well let’s go.” I sighed, grabbing my wallet, phone and keys and walking out of the house behind Gabriel.

This was actually happening. After Dean disappeared when I was twenty-three, I never expected to see him again. Now here I am, eight years later, still hung up on Dean and going to see him again.

What the fuck were we thinking?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I need to get better at updating regularly. Oh well, hope you enjoy this chapter!


	3. Metamorphosis

Bringing the car to a stop when Gabriel said, I looked outside and saw we were parked in front of some crappy motel just outside of town. I swallowed down the lump forming in my throat and turned off the car but I didn’t get out right away. I think Gabriel was also a bit nervous, because I didn’t see him making my move to get out either.

I sighed after a few moments and turned to Gabe, who looked back to me with a small, sad smile and a look in his eyes as if saying _‘I know. I’m scared too’._

I sighed, nodded my head and opened my door before stepping out, Gabriel following suit. Turning to face the motel, I looked around a bit before my eyes landed on a shiny black car. It wasn’t any car though because this car, was a beautiful old muscle car. An impala, to be exact.

“Guess we are in the right place baby bro,” Gabriel spoke, coming up to stand beside me. I nodded, not daring to speak in fear of either throwing up or bursting into tears. “You ready?”

“I, well, no, but we aren’t going to do it if we don’t do it now.” I spoke, cursing myself as my voice broke. I faced Gabriel, looking down at him to find him smiling, but not a sad smile. More like a smile like he was trying not to laugh. I rolled my eyes, knowing exactly what he was going to say before he said it, and waved my hand in a motion to say he could say it.

“Well, lil bro, I would never have taken you for an emotional type.” He smirked, crossing his arms across his chest. He was trying to lighten the mood, and I couldn’t help but laugh. It was true. I had never been one to show much emotion. Especially sadness. I guess I was just always the one with the straight face and confused look.

“Ok, Gabe, let’s do it.” I chuckled, letting him lead the way. He knew what room, after all. He held up a finger, telling me to wait a moment, before pulling out his phone and sending a quick text.

“I just texted Sam to say we’re here. Give them bit of a warning before we knock on the door.” He explained, looking back to his phone as a response came through giving us the go ahead.

“Didn’t you already say we were coming?” I questioned, tilting my head to the side.

“Yes I did, but I should tell them we are actually here yaknow. Make sure they aren’t naked when we knock on the door,” He smirked, and I could only picture what he was thinking of. “Remember when I walked in on you and Dean? He really is submissive isn’t he?” he questioned, acting natural before flashing me a smirk and starting to walk ahead.

It took me a few moment to process what he’d said and when it did, I ran after him and slapped the back of his head.

“You dick!” I shouted, slowing my pace to walk beside him. Now all I had going through my head was images of Dean underneath me, squirming and begging for me, begging for his sweet release. I stopped my thoughts before they could go any further. Now was _not_ the time to develop a hard-on.

Gabriel chuckled as he stepped up to the door, looking at me as to judge my reaction before he knocked on the door. I nodded my head, giving him the go ahead, to which he nodded back and turned back around, knocking on the door with a bit of force. We were waiting for a few minutes, standing in silence. Neither of us wanted to be the first to talk, and we both were just mentally preparing ourselves. The strong urge to throw up was back, and I felt a bit dizzy, so I grabbed onto Gabriel’s shoulder to steady myself.

“I think I’m gonna be sick.” I mumbled, holding on to Gabe even tighter. He opened his mouth to respond, when a click sounded out. My head immediately snapped up to the door, my eyes widening. ‘ _This is not happening’_

My hands were sending violent tremors throughout my body, and I didn’t realise how badly I was shaking until Gabriel wrapped his fingers around my wrist in a try to calm me down, even if only slightly. Which it did work. I took a deep breathe as the door opened, however not fully. It opened half way to reveal a tall man with long brown hair that reached just above shoulder length, stood there wearing a pair of plain blue jeans with a few rips in them, topped with a white shirt covered with a brown, black and white plaid flannel. He stared at us a moment, eyes slightly wide as if he was _actually_ surprised to see us, before a small smile played on his lips.

“Gabriel, Cas. Wow, its actually you guys.” He stumbled over his words, leaning forward to pull us both into separate hugs. I timidly held his hug, having missed the youngest Winchester after all these years.

“Dang, you got tall Samsquatch.” Gabriel smirked, looking him up and down after we let out our hug.

“Yea, well, Dean ain’t too pleased with it.” Sam chuckled, tucking his chin into his chest slightly.

I chuckled along, knowing how that would be. Dean was always the tallest of the family and now having Sam be as tall as he was, I was even a bit intimidated.

“Hey, Cas, wait, is it still okay for me to call you Cas? I mean, it has been a fair few years and like I suppose I did try to kill you the other day and I-“ Sam rambled, fear starting to creep up onto his features.

“Sam, its okay. I don’t mind. You were my friend once and that never changed. I don’t mind about the whole bank situation at all,” I cut him off, trying to ease his tension with a polite smile. It seemed to work, as he heaved a sigh and smiled, relief washing over his features and a look of happiness in his eyes. I looked to Gabriel, who somehow knew what I was going to say by the look on my face, who then began to smirk. “Truth be told, no matter how much I tried to forget you, I just couldn’t.” I smiled up at Sam once more.

“Oh! Uh right you should probably come in,” Sam trailed off, looking behind him inside the door, supposedly making sure it was okay. “I guess it’s kinda cold out there. Here, come in.” He looked back at us, opening the door wider to let us in. The first thing I noticed was surprisingly not how shabby the room was, or the somewhat dark colours and posters everywhere, but the other man leaning against the kitchenette counter. His broad shoulders stretching out his black undershirt, making it fit tightly along his torso, his dusty, light brown hair, the amulet around his neck, the deep blue of the jeans he wore, the familiar brown leather and wooden beaded bracelet around his wrist, and those piercing green eyes.

_“Dean.” I motioned for him to follow me. He stood up off the couch, and I excused us from my parents to take Dean to my room, but not before I caught the sly wink from my mother. I smiled, tucking my chin to my chest, before looking up into Dean’s eyes, getting lost for a second before flicking my head towards the stairs. He smiled and hooked his fingers through mine, grabbing my outstretched hand._

_“What’s up? Why’d we come up here?” dean questioned, looking around the room as if he’d never seen it before even though he basically lived here. I motioned for him to sit on the bed, which he did._

_“I have a present for you, but its personal. Something I wanted to give in private,” I mumbled, opening the bottom draw in my desk. I turned back around, holding a small box wrapped carefully with red paper. “Now, before you make a joke about it, I know you don’t like traditional Christmas wrapping paper, so I made my own for you. Well, I just got some red paper and drew patterns on it but well-“ I was cut off by Dean standing up and wrapping his arms around my wait, pressing his lips to mine in a way to shut me up. He released the kiss after a few moments, leaning his forehead against mine. I kept my eyes closed, breathing slightly heavy before feeling Dean lean back and look at me._

_“It’s amazing, angel.” He whispered, using his nickname for me. We just stood gazing into each other’s eyes for what felt like hours, before he cleared his throat and looked down at my hands, which my gaze followed, and I realised I was still holding the box._

_“Oh! Right! Uh, well, here. Merry Christmas, Dean. If you don’t like it that’s totally fine.” I spoke, mumbling the last part. I looked up when dean made no move to open the box to find him staring at me._

_“Cas, I’ll love it no matter what. Even if I don’t, I’ll still keep it. You thought of me when you got it so of course I’m gonna love it.” Dean responded, his voice laced with so much sincerity that it almost scared me. If you knew Dean, he wasn’t one for showing emotion very often. In responded, I just nodded and looked down. When I heard the tearing of paper, I looked up to see him carefully unwrapping it so not to tear the paper, a vast contrast to the way he tore into his presents downstairs._

_I heard a small gasp as he opened the lid of the box, and I dared to peak at his face, getting ready to say that it didn’t matter and that it was stupid, but when I saw his face, I knew he loved it._

_“Cas, baby, where’d you get this?” he asked in an almost whisper, carefully reaching into the box and lifting out the dark brown leather bracelet. It had wooden beads on a few strips of the leather, and the leather wasn’t one thick band, but many thin bands wrapped and entwined with each other. Some parts, along with the beads, even held little worn golden charms, one of a tree and the other a pair of wings._

_“I, uh, actually didn’t buy it anywhere,” I mumbled, fidgeting with my hands and not looking up. “I made it.” I ended, shrugging my shoulders before looking up at Dean’s face. His face was of shock and amazement and the one word I could really use that covered his features was just as simple, yet complicated, as love._

_“Cas, holy shit, I- I love it.” He finally spoke, slipping the bracelet onto his right wrist. From that day on, he never took it off unless it was for a shower, bed, or working in the mechanic workshop, as to not damage it._

“Cas,” a deep voice spoke, shaking me from the memory. “Holy shit.” He spoke once more, looking me up and down. I opened my mouth, trying my damn hardest to not let the tears in my eyes roll onto my cheeks, and willing my hardest for my voice to remain still as I spoke.

“Dean.”


	4. Yellow Fever

It seemed as if the world had come to a halt. Everyone was just staring at everyone, as if no one believed it was real. Mostly, however, Sam and Gabriel were staring at Dean and me, waiting to see who would make the first move. I was frozen, standing in the doorway still. I felt a tug and finally snapped my gaze away from Dean to find Gabriel pulling my trench coat sleeve, tugging me away from the doorway so Sam could close the door and stop the cold air surging into the room. Only then I realised how cold my hands felt.

“So! Well, uh, hey guys. It’s really good to, uh, see you again.” Sam spoke, trying to break the silence. Gabriel chuckled, causing me to look down and smile, trying to avoid looking at Dean. I somehow snuck a gaze up at him, finding him still looking at me, but a slight smile on his face.

“Dean-o, good to see you looking well. I mean, side from those few pounds ya gained after high school. I always knew you’d be one to peak in high school and just go down after that.” Gabriel remarked, a smirk plastering his face as he crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against the wall beside the door.

“Oh ha ha ha. Gabriel very funny. But I mean, it’s good to see you too buddy. I guess all that candy did pay off. Lovin’ the dad belly you got going. When’re you due?” Dean retorted, a smirk also playing on his lips and a glistening in his eyes. Gabriel just smiled back, tipping two fingers to him in a salute as if saying _‘well played, sir.’_

“Cas, what are you up to these days? Want a beer? Please sit down make yourselves comfortable!” Sam spoke, doing his usual rambling, causing me to chuckle slightly as I made my way to a chair next to the table, Gabriel following me and sitting in the chair next to it.

“Oh, I’ve been busy. Got my own little business going. Nothing too fancy or anything,” I answered, taking the beer with a smile from Sam and opened it as he and Dean sat across from Gabe and I. “I would ask you guys how things have been but, I mean, I can guess what’s been happening after the whole bank instance.” I finished, chuckling slightly as I took a gulp of beer.

“Yea, sorry about that. Again.” Sam spoke, a slightly awkward but apologetic laugh finishing his words.

“It’s all good there Sammy. I mean, no one got hurt.” Dean finally spoke up, looking down at the beer and turning it in his hands, daring to look up at me once more.

“Hey, look, I know we kinda just disappeared after high school, but, I mean if you guys want to its totally up to you, now that we’ve found you again, we wouldn’t mind catching up more? You know, reconnecting again maybe. I mean, it’s cool if you guys don’t want to. I mean, with the way we left off and everything I guess you guys probably hate us a bit,” Sam spoke, keeping a careful eye of Gabe and myself to judge our reactions.

“What Sam is trying to say,” Dean starts, cutting Gabriel off from talking. “Is that we live around here. We wouldn’t mind seeing you guys more. And, well, god I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I suppose we, well, uh,”

“We miss you too, Dean.” I spoke up, saving Dean from saving to show emotion. One thing that hasn’t changed since I knew him, is that he’s still horrible with showing emotion. Dean ducked his head into his chest, only looking up at me once with a thankful look and a smile. Still, after all these years, I could read his body language and it was as if I could read his thoughts.

“Well, I mean you already have my number. And I guess I have Gabriel’s number seeing as he texted me to set this up, so uh, can I grab your number Cas and we’ll sort out times to hang out again?” Sam questioned, already pulling out his phone. I smiled and accepted the unlocked phone, entering my name and number into his contact, using the nickname they always had for me. _‘Angel in a Trench Coat’_. I never really understood why all their nicknames for me were angelic. Probably because of my family’s history of being named after Angels.

After he took his phone back, I saw a smile grace his features as he read it over. He quickly typed something out on his phone and a moment later, I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. I pulled it out, finding a text reading _‘Hey it’s Sam!’_ to which I chuckled before adding his number too.

“Hey Dean, since we got Sammy’s number over there,” Gabriel started, snatching up my phone and unlocking it, and then sliding both his and my phone towards Dean. “Why don’t ya be a dear and add your number o our phones too?” Gabriel finished, smirking and casting a sideways glance at me as he says this.

“Uh,” dean starts, his eyes glancing an unsure look towards me. I just shrugged with a small smile in return. “uh sure. Why not.” He smiles, picking up Gabriel’s phone first, typing out his name and number quickly and handing it back before picking up my phone, more carefully it would seem. He smiled and handed it back, and when I looked at it, I couldn’t help but chuckle at the name he wrote.

_“Hey, my little Angel of Thursday. How we doing?” Dean questioned, sitting down beside me in our first period science class. We had different homeroom classes, but aside from that, we shared basically everything. Except, while I had art, he had music._

_“Hello there, my Dean Number. How’s Sam? Is he still sick?” I questioned, tuning to face him. We each had nicknames for each other based on not only our name, but our interests. For me, its mainly my name. Castiel, the angel of Thursdays. Dean got his nickname because of his love for mechanics. A Dean number, a dimensionless group in fluid mechanics; whether it means anything to Dean or not, it fits for me._

_“Yea sadly. The poor guy. Hasn’t been this sick for years.” He remarked, setting his book and laptop down at our workbench, trying to avoid the area of the gas nozzle, not wanting a repeat from last semesters class._

_“Tell him I hope he gets better. I wish there was a way for me to heal him.” I spoke, a sad tone lacing my words. I didn’t get sick often myself, but whenever I did it really hit me like a truck at full speed._

_“Eh, hell be okay. He always pulls through.” Dean responded, bumping his shoulder to mine while looking at me. We stared at each other a few moments, and in those few seconds, it was a moment I never wanted to forget. The morning sun shone brightly through the windows, casting a golden glow on the side of Dean’s face. His green eyes lit up, looking almost unnatural in how bright they shone._

_It was the moment I knew I truly did love Dean Winchester._

“Nice nickname there. I can’t believe you remembered.” I mumbled, locking my phone and placing it on the table. It was coming to be about now I was waiting for a text about a job I had to do, and I was getting anxious. Of course, Gabriel knew. I can’t hide that many weapons from him very easily at all. But telling the Winchester’s? Yea, that wasn’t gonna happen anytime soon.

As soon as it hit 12pm, my phone buzzed, a private number calling through. Gabriel looked at the phone, then to me and nodded his head as if to say I could go answer it.

“Uh, sorry guys I really gotta take this call. Ill be back in a moment.” I mumbled, quickly snatching the phone up and rushing outside and closing the door. Quickly fumbling with the phone, I stood behind the corner of the building, trying to get as much privacy as I could.

“Hello?” I questioned as I clicked the answer button and held the phone to my ear.

_“Is this Perdition?”_ the crackling voice of a man questioned.

“Speaking.” I answered shortly, deepening my voice further, if that was even possible.

_“Ok good. I have a mission I need completed. You’re the best person for it.”_ The voice sounded much more serious than any in the last. I was well known in the community for being the best at my job, but even talking about this assignment had me nervous.

“What is the assignment?” I questioned, keeping my voice calm and steady. Over the years I learnt to keep a straight face and not let my emotions show when in a job.

_“Rufus Turner. He’s been quiet difficult for most people to find and then complete the assignment. I believe you can complete it, though. We have another assignment lined up but so far no one has completed this assignment, meaning we can’t give it out. We have faith you can complete this and will be able to take on the next assignment too. Good luck, Perdition. More information about Adam will be sent through in time.”_ The voice spoke, a crackle sounding at the end before slow beeps sounded through the line. Locking my phone, I sighed, wiping a hand down my face. It was something I had adopted the habit of after being with Dean for so long years ago. It never left, I guess.

Standing for another moment, I took a deep breath and pocketed my phone, pushing off the wall I was leaning against before walking back to the motel room we all were in. As I went to knock on the door, it opened, revealing Dean at the door. He was looking back at Sam, jacket and keys in hand. He turned back around with a smile on his face, as if Sam, or more likely Gabriel, had told a joke. When he faced me, he kept a smile on his face, but it lowered slightly. Realising I still had my fist raised to knock, I scrambled to lower my arm.

“Oh, hey Cas. I was just heading out to grab some more beer and food for everyone. Burgers for us and a stupid, _healthy,_ salad,” he spoke, making the healthy part slightly louder for Sam to hear, who just responded in a faint _‘hey, they’re delicious!’_ which made Dean chuckle. I couldn’t even help but chuckle too. “You’re welcome to just hang out here while I go.” He stated, although his eyes got a slightly sad or disappointed look in them. Like he didn’t want me to go.

“Hey why doesn’t Cassie here go with ya, Dean-o? Some good bonding and catch up time!” Gabriel spoke, appearing out of nowhere.

“I mean, that’s cool too, if ya want to of course.” Dean agreed, rubbing his neck with his hand. I looked back and forth between the two. Gabriel, who was standing slightly behind Dean, was smirking, making suggestive motions. Looking further back, I could see Sam trying to stifle his laughter. I smiled, trying not to laugh myself, and looked down at my feet.

“Sure, I’ll go with you. Better than being stuck with him.” I motioned to Gabriel, earning a laugh from Dean, who then nodded his head.

“Well then,” Dean started, hoisting the jacket over his arms and onto his shoulders. “Let’s get outta here!”


	5. I Know What You Did Last Summer

_‘The way you held me in your arms,’ Castiel started, a dampness rolling down his cheek as his hand scribbled away on the paper. ‘The way you held me, was like magic. So many emotions all at once. I felt the protection. I felt your pain. I felt your love. The way you held me in your arms was an escape. For the both of us. An escape from reality to a moment where it was just us._

_‘The way your lips danced across mine, the way you smiled, and the way you cried. The way your lips parted slightly when you breathed deeply. The way you opened your lips and rested your tongue behind your teeth when you were concentrating. The way you made sure I was happy and always eft subtle little kisses. The way you would kiss my nose. The way you would gently kiss my lips on good days, and the way you would deepen them to a bruising kiss on an off day._

_‘The way your hands danced along my skin. The way you were always so gentle, as to not hurt me. The way you were rough and dominating. The way your hands worked when fixing up your car, and the way your hands worked when making burgers in the kitchen._

_‘The way your eyes glowed. A bright green piercing into my soul. The way they shimmered when you cried, and the way they lit up when you smiled. The way your eyes were almost unreal, but the way they were the world._

_‘The way you loved. The way you smiled. The way you made me feel._

_‘The way you were you. The way these will only ever be memories I can never relive._

_‘The way I loved you and will always love you.’ Castiel finished, tears blotching the paper as he folded it carefully and placed it in a small box of memories, closing the lid and carrying the last of the boxes outside to the rental moving truck._

“So, Cas, what have you been up to lately?” Dean asked from the driver’s seat. The car purred along smoothly along the long stretch of highway.

“Well, uh, not much really. I work from home so I guess I don’t get out much.” I nervously chuckled. It was the same story I had told time and time again. In the field of work I’m in, no one really can know what you really do. Too risky with Dean also being a crime ring leader.

“Huh. Haven’t changed much then I suppose,” He spoke with a breathy chuckle. “What do you do? Like, what is the work you do to earn money?”

“I paint. And write. I guess I got that from Chuck. The writing, I mean,” I paused, trying to gather my thoughts. “It’s just a hobby but people seem to really like my work.” Which wasn’t a complete lie. I did paint and write and sell some of my art here and there. But it wasn’t the focus of my income.

Dean nodded his head in understanding, looking out across the road as we went. We drifted into a silence that wasn’t exactly tense, but not comfortable either. Maybe it was just me and my years of confusion and hatred, or maybe it wasn’t. Maybe Dean was projecting.

We drove for another ten minutes at least in silence, before Dean pulled into the parking lot of a Gas-n-sip. He stopped the car and turned it off, just sitting there a moment. I looked over waiting for him to make the first move, and stopped and stared in confusion. I could practically see the gears in his brain moving, as if thinking of what to say and think. I opened my mouth to say something when he cut me off.

“Cas, look, I just wanted to say that I’m, well uh, sorry. I’m sorry I suppose. I just, we just left. Up and left without as much as a goodbye. You weren’t even in the same state as me when we left. I sort of tried to block it out. The guilt. For years I just blocked it out and busied myself with other things. I never forgot, of course, but I simply tried my hardest to just, not remember? I don’t know,” he ranted, scratching his neck and looking everywhere but me. “I had you and your brother on a no harm list. No matter what happened, I’d never let you get hurt. I know I don’t really have the place to say it, but I never stopped loving you. I know it’s wrong to say now, seeing as you’ve most likely moved on, gotten a life together. But I’m sorry. I’m not good with words, Cas, you know that. But I felt like I owed you an apology. I can’t reverse anything I’ve done or said, but I owe an apology.”

After he finished his apology, I stilled. I stared, eyes wide, nerves ticking up my spine at everything that was said. My brain slowly tried to process every little sentence he said, trying to pick apart each and every word to try and find a hidden meaning. A hidden way to say it’s all a lie. But nothing came up. Everything he said seemed true. From the look on his face, to the words he strung together, it all seemed real.

“Uh, yea so just putting it out there. Let’s go and get some food and beer.” Dean spoke, breaking the silence. I silently agreed, stepping out of the car with him and following inside.

 

_“So, Cas, you enjoying tonight so far?” Dean questioned, a smile playing on his lips. I looked up, ripping a bit of fairy floss out of the bucket._

_“Yea, I am. Thank you, Dean. I’ve never really been to a carnival before.” I admitted, avoiding Dean’s eye and looking around the bright colours._

_“Seriously? Like, never?” He questioned in surprise, stopping and grabbing my hand to spin me around to face him. “Never ever in your entire life?”_

_“Well,” I spoke, taking a mouthful of a sweet drink from a giant alien cup. “I may have when I was younger, but I don’t remember it.” I answered._

_Dean still looked at me with shock on his face, before a smirk played on his lips. He laced his fingers through mine before dragging me along behind him, making me stumble and nearly fall. A laugh bubbled through my chest as we ran, weaving in and out of the crowd._

_“You’re gonna get the best carnival experience of your life!” he shouted, some kids turning their heads at us with a laugh, and some adults turned to us with a scowl. Scowling at our loudness or our interlocked hands, I don’t know. But in that moment, I didn’t care._

_We went through various mazes, mirror rooms, haunted rides and fast roller coasters, before we ended up on the large Ferris wheel that adorned the centre of the carnival. A fireworks display was being set up to go off at midnight. Checking my phone, I saw it was 11:57. Three minutes to go._

_“So,” Dean spoke, knocking me back to reality after looking over the crowds. We were maybe a quarter up the coaster, and would be near the top by the time midnight hit. Maybe. “How’s your first proper carnival experience been?”_

_I smiled, looking around the crowds, eating a bit more fairy floss._

_“It has been the best night of my life,” I grinned. “So far.” I added after a slight pause._

_“Well, I am glad it could have been me to show you the awesomeness. Sammy and I used to come every year but since dads stopped being around, it’s become harder with me working and Sam focusing on school. I’m glad I could take you, though.” He smiled._

_A large cheer of the crowd starting, people screaming the number counting down from ten till midnight. It was New Year’s Eve, and I guess this town had a thing of going to the carnival on the night. People lined the beach, all cheering or dancing around the bonfire. Sam and his girlfriend Jess were somewhere down there with her family. As everyone shouted ‘five!’ Dean laced his fingers with mine. I looked down and smiled, before looking up and meeting his eyes._

_“One.” Dean chorused along with the crowd. As the first firework sounded, our carriage stopped at the top, and Dean snaked his hand behind my neck, leaning in and pressing his lips to mine. It lasted nearly a full minute before we parted, Dean resting his forehead to mine._

_“I love you, Cas.” He spoke so softly I almost missed it. I opened my eyes wide, leaning back slightly to look at him. He had an almost scared look on his face, but when I smiled, it seemed to relax slightly._

_“I love you too, Dean.” I mumbled back, pecking his lips once more._

As the memory of our first time saying _I love you_ replayed over and over in my mind, tears sprung to my eyes. I quickly wiped them and took a deep breathe. Something I had learnt from police work and my side jobs, is that emotion isn’t weakness, but it’s pretty easy to conceal. Following Dean, we grabbed various pies, chocolates, sodas and other junk. Some healthy things for Sam were thrown into the mix.

After we bought everything and loaded it into the car, we set off. Dean played some music and quietly sang along, and I felt like I was 17 again, riding beside Dean in the impala and singing along to corny 80’s rock music. It felt good. It felt natural.

“I’m glad you’re back, Dean.” I spoke quietly, seeming to talk to nothing. A few minutes passed before I saw a smile creep on his face from the corner of my eye.

“I’m glad you’re back too, Cas.”


	6. Wishful Thinking PT1

“Bro.” I heard from behind me. I turned around to face Gabriel as he stood at the bottom of the stairs staring at me.

“Uh, yes?” I questioned, slowly turning to face him, staring down at him. He looked even smaller from where I stood than normal.

“How did the chat with Dean-o go? Are you gonna make up and have little babies with him?” he chuckled, leaning against the wall. I climbed down the stairs and sat on the third from the bottom, still managing to be the same height as him.

“Why do you care?” I drawled out slowly, squinting my eyes at him.

“No reason. Sam and I just had a nice lil chat while you were gone.” He smirked. I knew I’d regret asking but I had to get this conversation over and done with. I was expecting a new call with details on a job.

“Ok, so, I don’t wanna ask, but I need to go. They’re about to give me more job info. But what did you talk about?” I sighed.

“Ok, I’ll make it short and I’ll tell you the rest later. But Sam asked about you, I asked about Dean, and we both agreed neither of you really got over each other. Now go get your job.” He pushed, already turning to walk away. I sat for a moment thinking, before my phone buzzed. I groaned and stood, running up to my room.

Closing and locking the door, I pulled out my phone and finding two separate texts. One from Dean and one from an unknown number. I opened the one from Dean first, and quickly read it over before typing out a response.

_Hey it’s squirrel. Wanna go for drinks tomorrow night?_

I typed a quick _‘sure’_ and attached my address before opening the unknown number. There was a text with a photo of Rufus, some coordinates for a location and other various details about Rufus himself and who he might be with. I quickly grabbed a pen and scribbled the details down, sending the photo to my email to print before sending a thumbs up emoji and deleting the text.

Printing off the photo, I gathered up the various sheets of paper before walking to my wardrobe and flicking a little lever inside to open a door in the back. closing it behind me, I turned and looked around the room, making sure no guns, knives or silencers were missing, and everything was still in order, before plonking down on a wheelie chair and sliding over to a wall with various papers and photos on.

The room was a metallic grey steel sheeting for protection, with various steel benches, a couple computers, printers and a large board right at the back covering the whole wall. One wall opposite the computers had electronic screens that showed the faces and info of other workers and agents. At the back beside the end of a bench was a large file cabinet. The top small draw had various badges and IDs while the rest was filled with various boxes of paper work. On the wall opposite that cabinet was a large rack with various suits and outfits. It wasn’t much different to how I imagined Sam and Dean’s area looking by having a bunch of fake IDs and costumes for them to work with.

Shaking the thought of the Winchester’s from my mind, I focused on the mission at hand. Grabbing a few thumb tacks, I stood from the chair and pinned the photo to the pin board next to photos of other people that had people hunting them down too. A few were just names. They indicated dangerous people that never got spotted. It made me wonder if some of them could possibly be Sam or even Dean’s alias’.

Pinning the information about Rufus under the photo, I studied it for a moment, thinking about where he could be and where he could strike next.

Logging onto a computer, I entered my ID code before opening a word doc and a private browser, trying to find out as much about Rufus as I could before heading out on a hunt.

A buzz knocked my focus off the screen after a while. Looking down, I saw my phone screen lit up with a text from Gabriel, a knock on the door quickly following. Checking the time, I saw it was almost nine at night.

Groaning as I stood, I could feel all my joint cracking and popping.

I groaned as another knock sounded. Looking at the text he sent as I walked to the door, I froze.

_‘I went out for dinner. Did you know how much of a crazy town we live in?’_

Crazy town. One of our codes. Another knock sounded, a little frantic and quieter this time. I quickly ran and grabbed a handgun from the desk, loading it and cocking it before walking towards the door, carefully looking through the peep hole.

Gabriel. Alone.

I quickly opened the door and pulled him by the sleeve into the room, closing and locking the door, thankful for the soundproofing.

“Cas! Holy shit why’d you take so long?” Gabriel shouted, frantically gesturing with his hands before falling into a chair and resting his head in his hands.

“Gabriel calm down please. What happened?” I asked, crouching in front of him so I could look him in the eyes, placing my hands on his knees to keep me steady.

“A guy knocked on the door so I went and answered it and he just barged into the house demanding answers about some dudes I’ve never heard of and I freaked out and he said he knew you were in this house somewhere, so I pretended to text you to come here and when he wasn’t looking I ran into your wardrobe and fuck Cas what’s going on?” Gabriel ranted, breathing heavily before slumping back and sliding down into the chair further.

I processed the information for a moment before looking up towards the pin board. Two names were pinned up with no photos.

“Gabe, what else did he say about the people he wanted? Like their names or why he was here specifically?” I questioned, turning back to face him.

“Uh, he said he was here because he saw us come back from the motel these dudes were staying at. Their names were like Jerry and Robert? I don’t know,” Gabriel cried, wiping his hands down his face. “Do you think they’re connected to an investigation one of the other agents is doing?”

I looked up at the pin board, before standing up and reading some information posted under the two names.

“Gabe,” I spoke quietly. “I think I know who he’s looking for.”

“who?” Gabriel asked hesitantly.

“Fuck why didn’t I see this earlier.” I swore, spinning around and walking over to the computer again, clicking open a new browser.

“Cassie, who it is?” Gabe asked timidly.

“I think its Sam and Dean. Robert Singer and Jerry Wanek are aliases. There’s no photos of the names but there’s information from witnesses who’ve seen them. Both are tall, ones taller than the other though. About six-foot-one and six-foot-four. One with golden brown short hair, the other with long chocolate brown hair. One with piercing green eyes and the other hazel. Everything matches Sam and Dean.” I spoke, getting quiet at the end as I logged on to the FBI database.

It was silent for a moment before Gabriel cleared his throat, making me look up at him.

“I want to join the force. Become an undercover agent like you. I want to be able to protect myself when you’re not around, which is often yaknow. A gun just doesn’t do it,” He spoke confidently, walking over and picking up a gun. “I can help you out on missions and even be your eyes when you go on missions. Be your partner in crime as you’ve put it.

I stood for a moment thinking before a loud bang from outside the bunker sounded, making me jump. I didn’t have to think it over much before I decided.

“Yes. Ill train you. I have clearance to do that. Once we et rid of this guy.” I spoke, moving over to grab my gun. nodding at Gabriel, I cocked the gun again. he took the signal to pick up his own gun, before I moved towards the door. Standing beside the door, back to the wall, I motioned for him to aim at the door, getting us in a fight stance, before I moved to unlock the door.

Looking back, he nodded, shaking slightly, and I nodded back. Taking a deep breathe, I mouthed counting down from three, before flinging the door open and charging out.

“Well if it isn’t Castiel Novak.” A voice taunted from behind. A voice I could clearly recognise from anywhere.

Slowly turning around, I noticed Gabriel still hidden in the shadows of the wardrobe. Lightly nodding to him, he nodded back, waiting for the signal we had.

“Well, Gordon, good to see you again,” I spoke clearly. “Good to see you alive, I mean.”

Gordon walker. Top detective, but mysteriously disappeared years ago. Presumably dead, his case was dropped.

“cut the small talk, Novak. I know you know where they are. Tell me. Now.” he demanded.

Flinching slightly as his tone, I took a deep breathe. He wasn’t just a top detective, but he was my partner. Since he left I never gained a new partner. Till now, at least.

“Yea well, how about no? because, honestly Gordon, you should know I don’t respond to threats.” I glared, moving my fingers so they crossed, making it look like I was just stretching. A loud cough sounded out before Gabriel even got a chance to move though.

“Gordon. I think you ought to move away from him.” The voice spoke, two men walking around each side of Gordon holding guns.

“Well, if it isn’t Sam and Dean Winchester.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long holy shit. I was really busy with the end of semester at school and the musical. But im on break now so more updating to come!


	7. Wishful Thinking PT2

“Gordon, what are you doing here?” Dean spoke, his voice low and demanding, yet still calm and even. It was hot.

“Well, Dean, I was actually looking for you and Sammy here- “

“Don’t call me that. He’s the only one that can call me that.” Sam spoke, cutting off Gordon.

Gordon just smirked, looking between the two men. He was distracted, leaving me to be able to signal to Gabriel.

 _‘Handcuffs’_ I mouthed to him. Watching him nod and run back into the bunker, I sighed a breath of relief.

“What do you want with us, Gordon.” Dean questioned, voice hard.

“Well, Dean, I’ve been watching you and Sam, or should I say Robert and Jerry, for months. Waiting for the moment, so when I saw Castiel here leave the motel I know you were staying at, I knew something had to be up. So, I followed him here. Low and behold, his brother was here and answered the door! And not only that, but led me straight o Cassie,” He smirked, eyes flicking back towards me. I growled at hearing him say ‘Cassie’, which just caused him to smirk further. “Hey, Cas, I bet Sam and Dean here don’t know what you do for work now, do they? Wouldn’t they just love to know.”

“Gordon, we’ve been looking everywhere for you. Now I’ve found you, I can bring you in, but you won’t get a position back. Instead I’ll take my video evidence and get you behind bars,” I snarled, lifting my gun and aiming at his chest. “So, if you wanna keep talking, keep that in mind.”

Gordon chuckled, slowly turning so he was facing the wall beside us so he could look between us easily. A shadow caught my attention to which I saw Gabriel walking back, handcuffs in hand, gun raised.

“Well, isn’t this just fun! Except, Cas, I know you won’t do that. Because your video evidence would also contain these two now, wont it? Yea you wouldn’t want them to be seen by everyone there would you? Besides, who said I wanted back in?” he smirked, knowing full well it was the truth.

I looked up, looking Dean in the eye, then Sam, before nodding at Sam, who then stalked forward, taking a shot at Gordon’s leg, leaving room for dean to come forward and grab Gordon’s gun, knocking him in the head so he fell. Gabriel threw me the handcuffs to which I caught and grabbed Gordon’s arms, hooking the behind his back and cuffing them. Gabriel walked out of the shadows and took over for me, handing me a phone.

“Gabe, take him to the other house. Take my car,” I spoke, throwing him the keys over my shoulder as I walked back to the bunker, already typing in the all too familiar number. “Sam, go with him in case anything happens.”

Sam gave me a salute, pocketing his gun before helping Gabriel hoist Gordon off the floor and make him walk outside.

As I walked into the bunker room, I pressed the call button and lifted the phone to my ear. As the phone rang, I placed my gun on the bench and sat in a chair, resting my forehead in my free hand.

 _“Its Milton.”_ A female voice spoke as the call connected.

“Anna, its Novak. Castiel.” I answered, sitting up straighter and answering with a strong voice.

 _“Cas! How are you? Are you okay?”_ she questioned, concern ringing through the phone.

“I’m ok, but its Gordon. I found him, well, more like he found me. Pressed a gun to my head and demanded answers to questions I didn’t know the answers to.” I spoke, my voice wavering slightly. I hated lying to anna, but it had to be done. I know I could tell her the truth, but over the phone was too risky. I’d have to do it in person.

_“Oh my gosh! Cas are you sure you’re alright? Where is Gordon now?”_

“well,” I started, thinking no better time to mention it. “It sort of brings me to another point. Gordon is at the second house, waiting with Gabe. Which, I’m gonna train him. Bring up to join the force. I need a new partner and he helped me a lot tonight, anna. He practically saved my ass. And he wants this. He wants to be able to protect himself whenever I’m away.” I finished, having stood from my chair and started walking over to the pin board, studying over the two names of Sam and Dean’s aliases.

 _“I agree, Cas. It’s a good idea and I give you permission. Gabe has been helpful in the past and id love to have him join the team. Bring him in ASAP and we’ll get his credentials entered. I’ve sent a team over to the house to pick up gorgon. Should be fifteen minutes maximum. Thank you, Cas.”_ She finished, a smile could be heard in her voice. I smiled at that.

“No, thank you, anna. This means a lot to me. Ill see you in a couple days.” I spoke, exchanging one last _‘good-bye’_ with her before ending the call.

It was silent a moment before I heard someone clear their voice.

Dean. Shit. I had forgotten he was still here!

Slowly turning around, I looked up at dean, his eyes a mixture of sadness and confusion.

“Uh, hey, dean. I forgot you were still here. Sorry.” I spoke, scratching the back of my neck.

“Uh, no its, uh, its fine…” he trailed off, looking around the bunker room. “so, what, you’re some secret agent?”

“uh, yea. I am.” I responded, nerves spilling over and making my hands shake. Dean Winchester, he only person to make me so anxious.

“Uh shit wait Cas its ok I, shit, I didn’t mean to make you scared.” Dean spoke quickly, rushing over to my side and placing his hands on my shoulders.

“Uh, no its, fine. I’m fine.” I spoke, barely audible.

Before I even could link, dean had wrapped me in his arms, pressing me close to his chest. Something that always made me calm down from anxiety in high school.

_My hands were trembling. I couldn’t move. I felt like I was about to vomit. This wasn’t happening. It couldn’t be._

_“So, Novak, what’s it gonna be? You, or that nerdy Asian dude Kevin?” Doug spoke, cracking his knuckles and coming closer to me. I backed up as far as I could but tripped, hitting my head on the wall as I fell._

_“Please don’t do this.” I whimpered, crawling as close to the wall as I could. My hands shook violently, my head was starting to spin._

_I could feel tears welling up in my eyes, but I wouldn’t give them the satisfaction of seeing me cry._

_“You it is, then.” Rob spoke, eyes glinting with evil._

_I closed my eyes, waiting for the impact and trying to hold back the tears, but when I heard grunts of pain, I looked up, finding dean, Charlie, jo, and of course Gabriel, standing there, Cole’s arm bent back at what looked like a very painful angle, courtesy of dean._

_“I suggest you leave him and Kevin alone, or else you’ll have more to worry about then a sprained elbow and shoulder.” Dean spoke, his voice hard._

_“Ok! Ok! Whatever you want just left us go!” Cole cried, struggling against dean’s hands. Dean let him go, and I watched as Cole, Rob and Doug up and ran away._

_“Cas, you ok?” dean asked worriedly, quickly coming to my side. I couldn’t talk. I could barely breathe. I was so scared, and my anxiety was so bad._

_Before I knew it, dean had my wrapped in his arms, one arm snaking up my neck to scratch the hair there. I calmed down quickly, taking deep breathes of dean’s cologne. From where I was, I could feel his heart beat._

_“Thank you, Dean.” I whispered after a while._

“Thank you, dean.” I whispered, the memory flooding my mind.

“Its ok. I’m here for you.” He responded quietly.

The door slammed open, Gabriel and Sam walking through with Sam shaking his head at Gabriel’s entrance. Dean and I slowly pulled away, and faced the pair. Gabriel, smirking and about to make a snide comment, must have noticed how shaken up I was, before closing his mouth and walking over to engulf me in a hug.

“You’re ok Cassie. Anna and the team got Gordon. Life sentence.” He spoke. That sentence made me smile, but also a bit sad.

“He used to be my partner. My friend. And he tried to fucking kill me.” I spoke, my voice trembling slightly.

“I filled Sam in on what’s happening, and Anna said I’m starting training in a few days, so I’m pretty excited li’l bro.” he spoke, making me chuckle and release the hug. I walked over and engulfed Sam in a quick hug, thanking him for his help.

“So, uh, can I get filled in please?” dean spoke up, confusion painting his features.

“Oh! Right yea. So, you know I’m a secret agent. I’m in the FBI as an undercover agent, hunting down some of the most dangerous perps out there. If someone can’t handle a mission, it gets sent to me. I’m the top trained detective in the whole of the FBI. Gordon used to be my partner. We solved a lot of cases and caught a lot of fucking people. But then he just disappeared one day. After a couple years we deemed him as dead. So, I guess you can understand why this shook me so much,” I sighed, giving a short explanation. “Anna Milton is the head of the force. Because of that, I’m basically second charge.” I added.

“Wait, Anna, as in nerdy redhead that had a fling with Charlie?” Dean questioned.

“Yep. And they keep in contact. Why do you think there’s no pictures of us anywhere after everything we’ve done?” Sam spoke.

“Exactly. Only descriptions. But, Anna assigns me all the cases that sounds like its you guys, so if it is, you don’t get caught,” I spoke, standing up and walking to the pin board. “Like these.” I whispered, pulling down the two sets of notes and names for Robert and Jerry.

“Wow.” Was all Dean responded.

It was silent for a few more moments until Sam cleared his throat.

“So, uh, Cas and Gabe, would you like to join us for drinks tomorrow night?” he questioned, looking between us.

I smiled and looked down, thinking about how long it had been since the last time I had a drink somewhere with someone.

“Sure. It sounds awesome.” I responded, smiling at Sam. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see dean slightly smiling and staring at me. Turning to face him, he just smiled wider, which I also smiled at him, before dropping my gaze.

“well, guess well see you then, Novak.” Dean remarked, inking at me before walking out the door, Sam following behind with a small wave.

“we leave for training on Thursday. Five days.” I ended, looking at Gabriel, who’s face then split into a giant grin.

“yes sir.” He smirked, walking out of the room. I sighed, looking down at the blood stain on the carpet. Groaning, I walked into the bunker to fetch some cleaning stuff. On my way out, a piece of paper on the desk caught my attention. Stopping and picking it up, I opened it, finding a messy scrawl across the page that I could identify as deans.

_Cas,_

_I’m a coward and I know this is the lamest way to tell you this, but, when could I ever stand up and say something properly?_

_I’m pretty sure this is how I asked you out in the first place anyway. A piece of paper just stuffed messily into your locker. It was so illegible, but somehow you could read what I had written._

_Anyway, I just wanted to say that, fuck I’m not good with words I should’ve gotten Sam to write this._

_Uh, I wanted to say that I, well, I miss you. I hate how we ended. I wanted to know if we could start over? If I could maybe take you on a date? If not, I completely understand, and I hope you’ve moved on ok._

_Uh well, I’m just gonna end It there because otherwise ill just start spilling my guts to you and I cant do that. Not yet, at least._

_Give me a call. Or a text. I know you prefer to text. Just get back to me, even if it’s through Gabe and Sam._

_Ok uh well, goodbye till next time._

_-D.W._


	8. After School Special

“He did what?!” Gabriel shouted across the table, cereal flying everywhere. I cringed. Cleaning that would be gross.

“I know. I can’t believe it either.” I sighed, looking down at my scrambled eggs, just pushing them around with the fork.

“He can’t do that!” Gabriel once again shouted.

“Gabe, please be quiet. I’ve got a headache, its only seven in the morning, and I’d rather not have another argument with the neighbours.” I spoke, holding my palm to my eye.

“Oh, shit. Right, sorry.” I heard Gabriel sigh, softly sitting back in his chair and picking up his spoon again. “But, Cas, come one, it’s not right. You know that.”

I sat in silence for a moment, my head going over what I’d read last night, the words rolling through my head. My emotions all coming back. Anger. The main emotion was anger. And some confusion.

“I agree. Its not right. But I can’t really do much about it.”

“Cas, you’re basically the one running the place. You can say something!” Gabriel pushed.

“Gabe, seriously? Its Michael! I can tell him to stop but he won’t! He thinks that just because he’s fucking Anna he can do whatever he wants.” I groaned, realising how bad the situation was.

“Then get her to tell him! He’ll listen to her!” Gabriel argued.

“She’s on vacation! She’s not gonna answer her phone!” I snapped, fed up with this conversation. Fed up with Gabriel, and fed up with Michael.

“Ok, ok I’m sorry. I know I pushed too far. Just, please try and call her. He can’t just revoke privileges and tell you that you’re not allowed to train anyone because you,” Gabriel started, lifting his hands to make air quotes. “ _’don’t have authority’_ like that’s bullshit. You’re in charge while she’s gone.”

I sighed, agreeing that I had to.

“Ok, fine. I’ll call her, but only _after_ my date.” I offered, earning a pleased smile from Gabriel. “Speaking of which, I gotta start getting ready. He’s taking me to lunch.” I smiled.

“Ooh seems like Cassie here is a bit smitten!” Gabriel teased, poking my cheeks, which I could feel heating up.

I pushed him away with an embarrassed scowl, scraping my left overs into the bin, and placing the plate in the sink, before walking up the stairs to my room. As I entered, I realised I still hadn’t properly cleaned the carpet. I should probably have done that by now.

Sighing, but shrugging it off till later, I stepped around the red spot, and moved in front of my closet, trying to decide what would be best to wear.

Looking more towards the back of the cupboard of clothes, I noticed an old, deep grey shirt I never recalled buying. The AC/DC logo on the front confused me. I never was so into those rock bands as to own their shirts. Then it struck me. The one person who owned it. that smell was unforgettable.

 

_“Charlie!” I screeched down the phone. The call had just connected but I needed help. Now!_

_“Cas! What’s with the screaming?” she questioned._

_“I need your help! Please come over! Like, now!” I screeched, ending the call without giving her time to respond. I placed the phone back on my desk, before sitting down on my bed. Man, my closet looked scary from here._

_A good ten minutes passed before my door slammed open, scaring me shitless and making me leap off the bed._

_“Charlie! Fuck, don’t do that!” I shrieked._

_“Sorry, dude. Now what’s so urgent you needed me?” she questioned, looking at me with a raised eyebrow._

_“Ok, yes, I’m sorry, but I have a date tonight and I don’t have anything to wear and I’m anxious as fuck, it’s our first date and I don’t even know what he’ll be wearing, and I don’t know what to talk about, and, fuck, Charlie help!” I ranted, breathing heavily afterwards while she just snickered at me._

_“Ok, ok, so,” she started, trying to calm down from laughing so hard. “First things first. Who asked you out? Like, you’re the new student and already have a date faster than anyone else at school ever got.”_

_I stopped, thinking that over for a moment. It was true. I had only just moved here to Kansas barely two months ago, and yet someone wanted to go on a date with me._

_“Oh god Charlie. What if this is all a prank to humiliate me in front of the whole school?” I gulped, sinking down into the chair beside my bed._

_“Hey now, none of that. Cas, look at me,” Charlie started, crouching in front of me, holding my face in her hands. “You’re hot. And I’m a lesbian, but I can tell you’re hot. Dude, if either of us was straight, or bi, I’d date you. I’m surprised people haven’t been drooling over you and flirting with you this entire time. It’ll be ok. But please, tell me who the dates with, and how did he ask you? I wanna know everything!” she squealed, dragging me up to sit on my bed._

_I chuckled, taking a deep breathe, and looking at the time. Five-forty. I had a good hour before I had to be ready._

_“Ok, so, I found a note in my locker yesterday as I was putting my books away at the end of the day. The writing is horrible, but I can still read it.” I spoke, leaning over to my desk to grab the note, smiling at it before handing it to Charlie. She took a few minutes to read it, before squealing and shooting up off the bed, my hand in hers. I had no choice in what happened. I fell off the bed, flat faced, onto the ground._

_“Cas! Holy shit I’m so sorry! You’re ok! Its ok! But holy shit! We need to find you something to wear!” she squealed once more, moving over to my closet and practically ripping the doors off their hinges. Clothes started being thrown out before I had even stood up, a string of ‘no’ being muttered._

_I decided just to sit back and let Charlie do her thing. It was Charlie, after all. When it came to this stuff, she was crazy._

_“Yes! Perfect!” I heard her shout a good ten minutes later. “Go shower, shave, do whatever else you need to do, and then I’ll show you what you’re wearing.” She demanded, pushing me out the door._

_“Yes, sir.” I joked, walking into the bathroom. Twenty-minutes later, and I was back in my room, wondering what Charlie had chosen._

_“Ok. You’re gonna wear this without question.” She stated, pushing clothes into my hands. It was a pair of black skinny jeans and a deep maroon coloured button-down shirt. I nodded, liking the choice, before moving back to the bathroom and changing._

_Walking back into my room, it was hitting seven-fifty. Ten minutes before he’d arrive._

_“You look so fucking hot, Cas. God damn!” Charlie practically moaned. I laughed, looking in the mirror. I agreed._

_I was hot._

_A knock on the door sounded, startling me. He was five-minutes early._

_“Charlie, I can’t do this.” I spoke, feeling sick suddenly._

_“Yes, you can, Novak. Now go and knock Winchester dead.” She winked._

“Fuck.” I breathed, putting the shirt down and wiping my eyes quickly, moving to the mirror to see if it was noticeable that I’d been crying. I decided I looked fine, and quickly chose out the same outfit I wore on that first date so many years ago. Placing it carefully on my bed, I had a very quick shower, tried to tame my hair to make it sit neater, to no avail.

Sighing, I let it be, before walking back into my room, pulling on the jeans and shirt. And no, I didn’t trip over my jeans. Totally not.

Sighing, I checked in the mirror, making sure the outfit was fine, before finding my black dress shoes, wallet and my police badge. Not the FBI badge, no. the Kansas police badge. As an undercover FBI agent, I had access to police databases and can act under a police jurisdiction and arrest people if need be. I think the police wanted me on their team more than FBI.

“Cas! There’s a car in the driveway!” Gabriel called from downstairs.

“Coming!” I shouted back, clipping the badge to my belt so it sat inside my pocket and wasn’t obvious. Putting my wallet in my back pocket, I walked over to the door, locking it on my way out. No trust in Gabriel.

“Hot damn, you look good Cassie.” Gabriel smirked, making an obvious show of looking me up and down, to which I rolled my eyes.

“Thanks,” I deadpanned. “How long has it been there?” I questioned, looking out the curtain carefully to scope out the car.

“Uh maybe five-minutes?” Gabriel responded, obviously thinking nard.

I nodded, checking my phone for a text from Dean and finding nothing.

“Dean hasn’t texted me.” I spoke aloud, mainly to myself.

As Gabriel was about to open his mouth to speak, a knock sounded at the door, making me twitch slightly. I looked out and saw the car was empty and now turned off. Looking to Gabriel, his eyes were wide.

I walked over and looked through the peep hole in the door, finding a familiar face waiting. I smiled and stood back, nodding at Gabriel, who just heaved a sigh of relief, before saluting and walking away, leaving me to open the door.

Unlocking the door and swinging it open, I found Dean standing there, fidgeting a lot like he always used to do when he was anxious or nervous. It made me smile.

“Hello, Dean.” I spoke softly. Dean smiled when he saw me, doing just as Gabriel had done and giving me an obvious once over.

“God damn, Cas. Isn’t that the same outfit you wore on our first date in high school?” Dean questioned, having picked up the fact. I smiled, looking him over before smirking.

“And isn’t _that_ the same outfit you wore also, Winchester?” I crossed my arms, smirking at him as he blushed. The faded blue jeans were paired with some black boots, a white t-shirt and a leather jacket. He looked so damn good.

“Yea, well, sue me. Uh, I got you this. I remember when yours broke and you never got it replaced,” Dean spoke, bushing a bit harder and shuffling his feet. He held out his hand, revealing a silver chain like one I owned in high school. It had nothing on it. It was just a plain, thin, silver chain. “I know the original had a really deep meaning to you because of who gave it to you, but I know how much you loved it and how devastated you were when it broke. I know its not the same, but I’ve had it a while. I actually had it and was going to give it to you after you graduated college. But, uh, stuff happened so I never got the chance.” He spoke, ending off a bit quietly, just as I had when I gave him the bracelet he still wore.

“Dean, I love it. Thank you,” I finally spoke, making eye contact before clasping the chain around my neck. “Thank you.” I spoke once more, stretching my hand out to touch the leather and wooden beaded bracelet around his wrist. Dean stumbled, looking down as if just remembering about the bracelet.

“Uh, so, we should probably go. I have a reservation for us at a nice Italian place.” Dean spoke, coughing and breaking us from the moment. A typical move. He always hated, as he called them, _chick flick moments._ It just made me love him even more.

“Yes, lets.” I smiled, closing the door, but not before catching a glimpse of Gabriel giving me a thumbs up.

I smiled, and followed Dean out to the car, ducking my head when he opened my door for me.

Oh man. I still loved him. I wasn’t prepared for everything to happen again. If I lost him again, this time would physically break me.

But when he looked over and smiled at me before starting the car, all my worries melted away. In that moment, I knew id do anything, and everything, possible to protect Dean.


End file.
